An Exploration of Recovery

WHAT DOES MY BLOG REPRESENT?

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My blog is a compilation of ideas and opinions gained through my addiction recovery.  I was an alcoholic and addict for nearly 30 years before I got clean and this blog is part of my recovery process.  In an effort to be more vulnerable and authentic, I have chosen to blog some of my ideas rather than simply journal them.  Hopefully my thoughts, struggles and opinions will help someone that is still struggling get through some tough times or perhaps I can help someone understand what a loved one of their's is going through.

 

WHO AM I?

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This is a great question.  This is the question I have been asking myself for some time.  My name is Tyler Lorenz and I have been clean and sober now since February 1, 2016.  I have been drinking and drugging for the majority of my life, almost 30 years.  My addiction literally took over my life and became my identity.  In the beginning when it was still fun, I was the 'Party Monster.'  I then progressed to 'Battle-star.'  And as most stories go, eventually 'The criminal.'  Regardless of the mask I wore, I apparently remained the same person inside.  I am currently on this journey of self-discovery to find out who this person I call myself really is.

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I grew up on a small farm near the Alberta/ Saskatchewan border.  I went to the same school from kindergarten to grade 12 and graduated with other kids that I knew most of my life.  There were 14 of us in my grad class.  I still talk to a number of them today.  After one year of college and another year off to work I found my way to University in Lethbridge.  I spent 4 years there but did not complete my degree.  I was 10 credits short of graduating.

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While in University, I married my childhood sweetheart Jennifer in 1993.  We lived together in Lethbridge both attending the University of Lethbridge.  Upon her graduation we moved to Calgary and both found employment.  We eventually built a house in North Calgary and had two beautiful children, Alyssa (1998) and Coltan (2000).

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My career started in Calgary in 1996 selling valves for a a company called Valgro which would later be bought by Halliburton.  Over the next 6 years I switched companies a few times working for Weatherford, National Oilwell and Argo.  I enjoyed the social and flexibility of the outside sales position.  I later realized how much these positions fed into my addiction as I drank and partied almost every day.  I was raised with a strong work ethic and between my work and the socializing I found little time for my home life.

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In 2003 Jennifer and I got divorced and she moved to BC with the children.  I stayed in Calgary for about 6 months but eventually decided that I needed to be close to my kids so I quit my job in Calgary and moved to Duncan, BC.    I loved the island and was immediately drawn to the ocean.  I spent nearly every day near the ocean for the first 6 months on the island.  I regularly took the kids for walks on the beach in Maple Bay or in Victoria.  Over the next year or so I would do a little stock trading and outside sales for a bottled water company in Victoria.  Unfortunately my addiction once again got a hold of me and I lost my drivers licence and eventually my job.

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Slowly I landed back on my feet again, and I got myself into the collections industry.  Once again I found the perfect job for someone with addictions issues.  Drinking and drugging was rampant in this industry.  It once again became an every day thing for me.  I would miss work, come in late for work and even drink and drug at work.  I managed to stay employed and was actually quite good at what I did.  I worked my way through a few companies just as I did in the oilfield.  As soon as things got so bad that my employer was catching on to my lifestyle I would bail and move to the competition before the consequences became dire.  I stayed in this industry for 6 years.  It truly was an amazing feet given the way I was living my life.

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I eventually came to the end of my collections career while at National Money Mart head office.  After working here for a couple years I had decided that working for myself was a better option and I left and started my own credit repair company.  This seemed much more feasible as I would have no one to answer to any longer with regards to my addiction issues and my lifestyle.  I moved back to Alberta and ran my own company for a little wile before merging with Canada Credit Fix.  This is where things start to get very chaotic.  

 

There is a lot from this point forward I do not want to discuss given that there may still be legal ramifications.  Needless to say, my life became a disaster and completely out of control.  I had numerous altercations with the police and eventually ended up in jail.  Over the past 7 years my life took me to a couple addictions treatment centers, a sober living house and the hospital a couple times.  I was homeless for a period of time, living on the streets of Victoria.  I was not employed for a number of years and I had my name in the paper due to a very large drug bust.  I was in a couple shoot outs, I was stabbed, I was beat up quite bad, I was kidnapped a couple times at gun point and I was in a couple accidents.  It really is a miracle that I am here today.  I clearly have a purpose.  This blog is going to help me explore this purpose and to pass on the message of hope and to reaffirm that recovery is possible.  For anyone.

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